[Film Review] Mortdecai
Mortdecai
Film Review
"Have you heard the expression, 'open your balls?'"
Director: David Koepp
Release Date: 23 January 2015
Running Time: 106 minutes
Country: United States
Language: English
MPAA Rating: R
Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.
So this was the film from my little family movie night yesterday. My dad nabbed the DVD from the library, with no one knowing what to expect apart from a mustachioed Johnny Depp. It aims to be ridiculous, and it's certainly achieved that much, I suppose...
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| The moustache is not only a lead character - it's his love interest |
Writing:
Apparently this was an adaptation of a comedy novel (first in a series) by Kyril Bonfiglioli, titled Don't Point that Thing at Me. I personally have no experience with this book, but from a quick search it looks like it's a cult classic, and has an average rating of 3.38 stars on Goodreads, which suggests that it's generally a likable book (though the comments seem to suggest it's a bit of a hit or miss). The ridiculous plot isn't much of a bother for me, but it is, well, ridiculous (like, why would there still be money in Heinrich Himmler's bank account? Also, that's not how you care for priceless art). Either way the premise already shows that it's totally meant to be one of those absurd comedies. And I have nothing against that type of humor - kinda like Grand Budapest Hotel, which I even plan to cosplay. Unfortunately, here the writing falls flat. Insane events take place, sure, but overall there just isn't much of a cohesive kick to it, for lack of a better term. There are a few good one-liners but one or two gags does not make a comedy movie.
It reminds me of this one time I knew this dude (American) who was trying to do "British comedy" without knowing anything on the topic save a few Monty Python sketches. Needless to say it went horribly.
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| The OTP |
Characters:
Part of why I had much higher hopes for this film even into the early stages of watching it was because of the cast. Johnny Depp is normally pretty good at bringing outlandish characters to life, but as the thing went on it felt just too over the top. And I grew up taking telenovelas with singing bubbles seriously. It's sadder than watching the 1974 version of The Great Gatsby - good actors, but overdoing the performance. It's like they were trying to make good with something awful. The characters are generally unremarkable to me perhaps because of the writing issues and annoying performance.
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| "It's like kissing a vagina" |
Other Elements:
Honestly, nothing stood out too greatly about the film score or cinematography. I was probably trying too hard to drag my consciousness back into the waking world to notice anything outstanding in those areas. But at least there was nothing terribly wrong (except that hotel. Who does interior design there?). But I did like some of the outfits worn by Gwyneth Paltrow. They weren't lying about the "impossibly leggy wife". And then there's Johnny:
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| Then there's Johnny |
Final Verdict:
Personally, I didn't find anything too special about this film, except maybe the usefulness of having my own personal manservant. It's just trying too hard and falling flat, and it's a pure shame it's not even one of those "it's so bad it's funny/good" kind of things. But I won't hold it against anyone who does think it's funny and a good movie - I just simply cannot subscribe to that opinion.
Sailor's Rating: D-
"It made me feel dirty"
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